In my early 30’s I went through a big transformation. I got a divorce, lost some friends and walked away from a life-long religion that no longer suited me. I let that time change me. In the end, I was a much kinder version of my fiery and opinionated self. I became a yoga instructor. I felt lighter. I felt safe. I thought I had it all figured out.
Then, at 36, I was diagnosed with throat cancer 3 days after my son, Sam was born. During my 39th week of pregnancy, I told my OBGYN that I was having difficulty swallowing. With her referral, an ENT found a large tumor sitting on my larynx. The following week, Sam came (as planned) via c section and 24 hours afterwards, I was wheeled down to the OR to be intubated and have the tumor biopsied. Two days later, in my maternity room with my now-husband and infant baby, the Doctor sat down and said, “It’s positive. You have cancer.”
My blog, “JaimeThinkSayDo” was originally started as a way to keep family and friends updated on my health and journey through cancer. But as the physical tumor shrunk from gruesome treatments, I grew mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I questioned everything and I broke wide, wide open. I was completely honest and vulnerable to myself and my readers. About everything. I realized the importance of human connections, of sharing stories, and of the beautiful two words; “me too” that can tie us together.
The irony is almost too much: I (temporarily) lost my ability to speak from intense radiation, but I found my voice through writing. I let the cancer change me.
With a new sense of self, and a clean(ish) bill of health, I continue to write blogs for JaimeThinkSayDo. They are my daily, weekly and monthly memoirs. I share them to show growth, setbacks, and the realness of my life. I share them to help others find their own truth. I share them to remind myself and my readers that we can ALWAYS begin again. I share them in hopes to cut the bullshit of who we have become to find the meaning and rawness of who we actually are. Because who we ARE is real, interesting, scary, exciting, sad, beautiful, and at the core, full of truth and love.
Without judgement, I use my words, voice, listening ears, intuition, and an open heart to teach weekly yoga classes, lead intimate Soulcation retreats, meet with individuals one-on-one, and speak publicly about authenticity. I do not have it all figured out. I promote togetherness and believe we are all life-long learners who uncover bits and pieces of ourselves with intention, humor, grace and time.
My simple equation for freedom, strength, kindness, and honesty: